Amsterglam

"Fancy seeing a sex show?"


It's not an ordinary question you ask your other half, but when in Amsterdam, that goes out the Red Light window.

Writing this three months since we touched down in the Dutch capital, a recent conversation with a friend (that was also pondering the same question with her partner), got me thinking. The Red Light District sex show is definitely a tourist must do.

It's easy to see why Amsterdam is definitely the sex capital of Europe. The women in the windows with the glowing red light behind them may be overwhelming at first, particularly if they are licking their lips and gesturing for your boyfriend to come closer, but prostitution has been legal here since 1811. The prostitutes even have a union, and like the brothels, pay tax.

My tip is do your research first (and obviously don't touch the seats). There are several types of shows, catering for different aspects -- some are more female friendly, others are good for groups. Casa Rossa has a few establishments along the districts canal, and is considered the original sex-theatre experience. Then there's the ballsy Bananenbar, and our chosen venue, the Moulin Rouge.

Situated at the top of the canal, we waited 45 minutes for the previous show to end. First in the queue gets you the pick of seats in the tiny theatre. I recommend not to sit on the front row if you're nervous. But that wasn't the case. Same can't be said for the trio sitting next to me. One of which, was tripping hard and had to make a quick exit mid-performance.

A reasonable €40 entrance also got you two free drinks. The acts came in five sets: The woman with the candlestick; the marker; the banana; the pieces of fabric; and then a male and female act with intercourse.

It's understandable that this might not be your thing, but I assure you that it was nothing to be worried about. Audience participation accounted for much of the theatres out-loud laughs. The highlight being the pensioner who had "SEXY BOY" written across his bare chest by the woman with a marker in her lady bit.

And let's face it, this is probably better then going to the aquarium.



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